DEATH
One of the hardest truths can be excepting a death in the family, especially someone who is close to you. These truths can be difficult at times for multiple reasons. For instance, being too young to understand, not wanting to understand, or simply because you know that they are never coming back. When I was in fifth grade one of my closest uncles was killed in a snowmobile accident, this was a hard thing for me to deal with because I was too young to really understand what death was, I didn’t really want to understand because it hurt to think about it and lastly because I knew that he was never coming back. All of these things made it hard for me to actually comprehend the fact that my Uncle Joel was gone.
I can remember the day that my father and Uncle Shawn came home to tell me about the accident, and how Uncle Joel had been killed in it. I was young and didn’t quite understand so I thought it was a joke. At first I laughed until I realized that they were telling the truth about it, and than I just cried. Everything was hectic, and I wanted to be able to know what happened but because I was so young I wasn’t able to know all the important details that the adults knew. It was really hard for me to accept his death because I had never really been around a situation like this before, so it was a whole new experience to me. I didn’t understand why he had to die, why I couldn’t go see him and why he couldn’t be saved. I was just heartbroken about it all. Eventually when I got older I realized why he died, why I couldn’t go see him and why he couldn’t be saved. I remember my Dad sitting me down a couple of years later and explaining all the questions that I asked to me. I remember him telling me “Your Uncle Joel was drunk and took off on his snow sled, he went airborne and fell off his sled. The impact was too much for his skull and the rest of his body to handle. There was no way for him to be saved because he was announced dead on the site.” He than went on to tells me that “I didn’t want you to see your Uncle Joel the way that I saw him when I found him dead in the road. I wanted you to remember him how he was, and all the good memories you spent with him. I just didn’t want you to be traumatized.” After all my questions were answered when I had got older, everything was more clear to me and I understood a little better, but because I was so young when the accident happened I wouldn’t had made since of what I was told.
Not wanting to understand it was another reason why nothing made since to me. I think that I could had made since of it all if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to accept the fact that my Uncle Joel was dead and gone forever. I pretended like I didn’t understand so that I wouldn’t have to. I remember telling my mom that it was all a big joke, one mean lie, but in reality it wasn’t. It was real, the whole thing was real. Uncle Joel taking off way to drunk on his sled, my Dad and Uncle Shawn coming home to tell me about it, his funeral and burial. It was all real. I also don’t think I wanted to understand because I just wanted it all to go away. I wanted all the problems to disappear and stop seeing everyone around me so upset and sad. It broke my heart to see my Dad cry, because he had already lost one brother, but this time he had to see his second brother dead on the road. I also never understood why everyone started fighting after his death, but I didn’t really want to know either because it mad me angry to think that all anyone could think about was who get’s his belongings. It was bad enough that he was dead, but it made it even worse when they all started fighting. It just made me so angry, and I realized that I never wanted to understand what happened and what was happening at that very moment.
I knew a little bit about death when I was in fifth grade but not much like I said. The only really thing that I knew about death was that it means they are never coming back. Well, at such a young age it scared me to death. It made me think about what if my parents were to get in accident tomorrow, I wouldn’t have no body and it just scared me. I would stop and think about all the good times I had with Uncle Joel like swimming with him in the lake, going fishing with him, him teaching me things, hearing his funny stories, and just seeing him whenever I wanted to. All of those things made me cry because I knew that I would never be able to create new memories with him in the future. The only thing that I had of him after he was gone out of my life forever was all the great memories that we once had shared, and I knew that those were the memories that I would never forget for as long as I lived. I knew that whenever I got sad and wanted to think about him and remember him all I had to do was stop and think of all the great fun things that he did do with me while he was here, and it makes all the pain and sorrow go away.
Being young and having someone so close to you die is one of the worst tragic incidents that could ever possibly happen. I know that everyone dies after a while, and it’s part of life but no young child should have to go through that.
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